20/01/2010

im not happy im not happy...
im so miserable...
im so not happy in this relationship..
wat i doing is just nonsense and shit.
i duno wat he thinking
he duno wat i thinking
he just think im weird.
yes im weird, bcz he dint try to stand at my point of view?
im so confused.
for so long d.
wat am i doin in this relationship.
its gonna be half yr.
but i duno wat for and wat i am in this relationship.
im sad.
i wanna talk to someone tat really can comfort me.
WHO CAN I TALK TO BESIDE THAN HIM?
he just noe how to get angry and "ok fine" in watever i say.
i want his comment.
but everything he wan me to speak 1st.
as a girl, i duno how to speak it out..
and i dint stand in this kind of situation since so long d.
im crying.
i duno wat feeling shud i have now.
with so many things to do..
graduation, batik, cad, portfolio,.........
and HIM...
i duno hw to settle now.
instead of keep prolonging these all problems
its occuring..
im upset lately
im cried even beside him,
but he dint realize.
i cry bcz i scare this relationship wil lost.
im worry.
so so so worry...
i dun wan anything happen between us.
its so hard.
its so suffer.
i just not a gud gf that he wan i think.
i troubling him.
i making him think tat im weird
im "weirdo" in my bf eyes.
i soon gonna bring him home to see my parents.
but our relationship so hard yet so soft.
how dare i..
where is my brave nw?
i cnt feel him recently with his hug even.
he just hug me like just doin a favour for me.
im so unhappy to leave him from a hug like this.
i headache now.
can all these problems stop for awhile in this important moment?
can anybody teach me how to understand a bf nw?
i noe is not all his fault.
i noe he is gud.
i feel so so pressure so so unhappy when ppl think tat he is a gud bf than a gf like me.
i feel like a rubbish.
i duno wat is my value in this.
why pplis view is like this.
i feel so hurt.
why not he come and comfort me?
am i tat BAD?
why do he love me?
i think until now he is stil wondering.
im like a sack who giving him pressure now i guess.
i might not important in Him now.
and i rarely get some important words frm him.
im confused now.
wat i am in you now??
do u understand me?
do i understand u as well?
im trying to make no arguement in our relationship.
and im alws being so calm.
why cnt he feel tat.
i can feel tat he just thinking i am so not reasonable in every problems.
i trying so hard to tolerate everything.
but i dont think he noe..
im so unhappy now.
but would he wan to noe?
since he is so tired...
he wil be lazy to settle too i guess.
so just let me speak to my blog..
and let everything flow..
i have no one to speak to now.
only him.
bcz of him.....
i...
this is wat ppl called " wl4"
AIKS.
what is love mean for when there is a problem between us?

=( tears dropped

seeing him offline without telling me and even a gudnitei kiss making me cry badly.
he don't care?

God please help me...