Live Life to The Fullest

20/01/2010

im not happy im not happy...
im so miserable...
im so not happy in this relationship..
wat i doing is just nonsense and shit.
i duno wat he thinking
he duno wat i thinking
he just think im weird.
yes im weird, bcz he dint try to stand at my point of view?
im so confused.
for so long d.
wat am i doin in this relationship.
its gonna be half yr.
but i duno wat for and wat i am in this relationship.
im sad.
i wanna talk to someone tat really can comfort me.
WHO CAN I TALK TO BESIDE THAN HIM?
he just noe how to get angry and "ok fine" in watever i say.
i want his comment.
but everything he wan me to speak 1st.
as a girl, i duno how to speak it out..
and i dint stand in this kind of situation since so long d.
im crying.
i duno wat feeling shud i have now.
with so many things to do..
graduation, batik, cad, portfolio,.........
and HIM...
i duno hw to settle now.
instead of keep prolonging these all problems
its occuring..
im upset lately
im cried even beside him,
but he dint realize.
i cry bcz i scare this relationship wil lost.
im worry.
so so so worry...
i dun wan anything happen between us.
its so hard.
its so suffer.
i just not a gud gf that he wan i think.
i troubling him.
i making him think tat im weird
im "weirdo" in my bf eyes.
i soon gonna bring him home to see my parents.
but our relationship so hard yet so soft.
how dare i..
where is my brave nw?
i cnt feel him recently with his hug even.
he just hug me like just doin a favour for me.
im so unhappy to leave him from a hug like this.
i headache now.
can all these problems stop for awhile in this important moment?
can anybody teach me how to understand a bf nw?
i noe is not all his fault.
i noe he is gud.
i feel so so pressure so so unhappy when ppl think tat he is a gud bf than a gf like me.
i feel like a rubbish.
i duno wat is my value in this.
why pplis view is like this.
i feel so hurt.
why not he come and comfort me?
am i tat BAD?
why do he love me?
i think until now he is stil wondering.
im like a sack who giving him pressure now i guess.
i might not important in Him now.
and i rarely get some important words frm him.
im confused now.
wat i am in you now??
do u understand me?
do i understand u as well?
im trying to make no arguement in our relationship.
and im alws being so calm.
why cnt he feel tat.
i can feel tat he just thinking i am so not reasonable in every problems.
i trying so hard to tolerate everything.
but i dont think he noe..
im so unhappy now.
but would he wan to noe?
since he is so tired...
he wil be lazy to settle too i guess.
so just let me speak to my blog..
and let everything flow..
i have no one to speak to now.
only him.
bcz of him.....
i...
this is wat ppl called " wl4"
AIKS.
what is love mean for when there is a problem between us?

=( tears dropped

seeing him offline without telling me and even a gudnitei kiss making me cry badly.
he don't care?

God please help me...

21/12/2009

so so random post

not a special day or wat..
but why am i blogging here since..
because i have damn alot feeling lately..
just that i have no time and lazy to blog anymore..

I feel HAPPY lately..
because everything that happened around me=)
i appreciate wat my family do to me=)
I satisfy with wat i doing although not tat gud..but i stil believe thr is an improvement=)
I happy with frenz frenz around me=)
I am fulfill with whats god gave to me=)
I am lucky to have a VIP with me alws=)
thats my baby boy=)

HAHAHA.. i duno how old is this pict..
don be suprise when u saw this o..
HOHOHO
SO CUTE RIGHT

Yes i am with him for this long while.
since last year when he enter college until now,
july2008 until today?
from stranger to friend to close fren to lover?
I found out we are not just togethe like 4 or 5 months
is for a year ++++++++ already
wuhooo
all this time, i am being with him..
no matter what happen he is stil with me
even as a fren as a close fren or wat
you noe i alws appreciate this.

i dunwan to blog bout this.
bcz i am so negative until i don wan to do anything between this relationship.
even now i am being abit of afraid..
afraid of wat.. u understand~~
soli im just being honest.. but i am very very thankful and appreciate with ur appearance.
i dun noe why he love me even im not a "gf like" that kind of gal
im just doin nothing as a gf..
its so different than previous me.. i duno why
but tis iss just so natural and perfect feeling for me.
until today i found out i am so touching to have a bf liek you
you dint do anything thats like others bf do.
but your every little things is the most precious thing that i always wan to remember. i wont forget it even there is so much

sometimes im just so confused with wat he is thinking or doing me..
sometimes he seems dont care bout me..
sometimes he being so sticky to me...
its a little confused.
maybe this called a relationship ba...

You neo wat..
i alws scare of putting so much heart on one person
lately i found out that i love him ALOT
i trying to put lots of heart on him..
but sometimes he is just like don bother about it.
sad case..
it makes me afraid again..
afraid wat?
i realize and i think everytime when i am so into my bf,
he wil soon gonna leave me.
when i trying to make a gap, and he is showing me his love and making me guilty.
not i think that much..
but is just the truth..
don you agree?

ANYWAY..
no matter how.....
i neo i pick this relationship up after a year plus tat i being single
i neo he love me.
i neo i love him..
i believe in wat i see now..
i wil not regret in wat i do.
no matter how, i wil stay strong in this relationship..
even sometimes i feelign hate it...
but i will always keep in mind,
there is always a person that i love and that he love me too.
this is enough for me to stay strong in LOVE.

Babe, this is for you~~

this is so so so sweet yea~~~

I LOVE YOU <3

31/10/2009

都是因为你

我喜欢看着你

因为我珍惜看着你的机会

我喜欢抱着你

因为我害怕失去你

我喜欢耍脾气
因为我要你哄我

我喜欢唠叨

因为我要你听我的

我喜欢牵着你的手
因为我害怕你走开

我生你的气
因为我很在乎你

我喜欢暗示你
因为我要你明白我

我喜欢玩你，耍你
因为我要你知道你在我心里的地位

我喜欢撒娇
因为我要你疼我

我喜欢你在我身边
因为有你我不寂寞

我不是坏蛋
因为无论我多坏蛋，我都不会停止爱你

我喜欢乖乖的你
因为我不是那种“男人不坏，女人不爱”

我喜欢亲你

因为我感受到你

我喜欢和你在一起

因为我感觉到温暖

我不是不爱坦白说

只是不想和你争吵

我喜欢让你做决定

因为我要你有大男人主义

我发呆

因为我在想你啊

我伤心

因为你不在

我薇笑

因为你笨笨时真可爱

我大笑

因为你逗得我很开心

我暗暗笑

因为我们有心里相通了

我不是没话说

因为我不懂如何开口

我珍惜你

因为我相信你就是我的唯一

我想找你

因为我第一时间想分享的人就是你

我不出声

因为我要你读出我的心

我喜欢你抱着我

因为我就想得到我要的东西了

我最喜欢你！

因为除了你以外，没人可取代你了！

我爱你

因为你就是我独一无二的宝贝

自从我们开始了以后

我就没想过要离开你了

你就是我要的那一个

谢谢你的出现

我一定会好好珍惜你的

爱你！

28/09/2009

23/09/2009 - 25/09/2009

It been a long time that i din't post blog...

but there is something important that i surely have to post..

That's BaoBao's birthday....

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY BABE!!!

we celebrated at Langkawi with his high school friends...

HERE WE GO TO LANGKAWI~~

we celebrated baobao's birthday on the way to Jetty kedah=)
cake on the BMW..wuhooo...wat a special wan...
btw..NEne bake the cake..nice wan=)

look at my so so happy babe at the jetty..hahha
Birthday boy maaa...

1 of the ugly little pillow that i make for him...hope u like it babe...hug it alws like u alws hug me~
okie...im the Van driver here.. to pick all little chicken to go around and visit..
My little chickenss....see how happy they are=)

Im happy with the beach=))))))))))))

discussing bout some big businesss

F**king nice beach rite..wuhoooo PLUS SUNSET LOO

Go Kart for sure...
im the drifter=))))
HAHHA
duno wats wrong with this picture.. stupid ciao keep laughing at this pict..
LOL

Babe's pretty soft butt=)

we enjoy...

we play...

Drifter i am=)
NUMBER 1!!

My ONLY LOVELY ONE<3

KIWING LOOO...

MUAKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The 1st Dinner nearby the beach...

heading to cable car after breakfast...
never been thr b4
Kinda new to meee

Breakfast at hotel helang
CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP AND NICE NICE NICE
YUMYUMMM~~

way to cable car! YEAH~

kiwing and han