So sick

so sick of dreaming
so sick of missing him
so sick of being alone
so sick of being so tough

so sick of being so rude

so sick of being not wat i wan
so sick of seeing mama moody face
so sick of acting a gud girl infront of mamapapa
so sick of assignments
so sick of staying in home
so sick of my healthy lifestyle
so sick of missing night life
so sick of missing buddy

so sick of being a nerdy face

so sick of being watever

so sick of being cheerful
so sick of driving car
so sick of the stupid sunlight
so sick of seeing ppl tat are 2 faces
so sick of being so fool

so sick of keep thinking

so sick of being so busy
so sick being kind
so sick of worrying my family
so sick of loving them
so sick of so so so many things..


This morning is so down and down again
mama alws trying to ruin my beautiful morning..
aiks
I was so sad and tired with her attitude..
I HATE ARGUEMENT...
Just feel like crying everytime i got argue with anyone especially papamama
I'm alws the loser when i got in arguement..
how sad
i hate arguement so much
because i hate using words tat are hurting ppl when gone insane..
i hate the way mama scold..
she never think of ppl's feeling when she scold..
she just speak watever she like
and just breaking my heart
and just making me tears and tears and tears
i never argue with my fren b4..
so i don wan to argue with my mama oso
i just wan to treat her like i treating my fren..
But she couldn'y understand my feeling at all
or i cant understand her???

hmmm
so watever...
sometimes just feel like being a bad gal like i did last time
wat i do nw is just thinking of my family..
i love them
I don wan 1 of them broke the relationship in a family..
So sick of being a mute when she scolding me..
i want to speak out for my own right

but just forget bout it la
it wont be
i will never win in a arguement..
rather to be a loser oso
save my own energy

aiks..
speechless..
macam mana le??

Lately dream alot..
wat i dream is wat i didn't get to do in reality
i dream i fight back my mama
i dream about him and her
i dream about my buddy
i dream bout my loves one
i dream bout things tat i can't do in reality
these make me feel so MYSELF
i am my own in my dream..
sometime i just don feel like wake up
i want stay in my dream and being myself..
Maybe i wil die in dream one day too???

unpretictable~~~

Nights..
muaxxxxxxxxxx